I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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