covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
