I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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