god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize