ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
