You're completely useless in the revolution.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
