I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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