Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
