i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
