Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
