all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
