Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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