you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
