I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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