I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
