If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
tell me about the fingering
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