I hate your face
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
