pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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