sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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