last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize