hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
