if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think my fart just growled at me.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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