so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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