Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
