I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
