I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
