Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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