Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
