I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
