look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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