a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize