i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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