There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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