We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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