I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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