Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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