It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
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He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
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Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
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