I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
