I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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