You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
