whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
