its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
