what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
