my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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