did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
