5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
