Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
