Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
