Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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