Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he puts the penis in happiness.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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