i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
