i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
