He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
