If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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