I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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