I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
