Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
ttyl tear gas
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize