Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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