As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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