Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
