i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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