guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
