People with herpes should wear stickers.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
