whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize