I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
