I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I love having hate sex.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
